If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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