If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
where are my eyebrows?
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