I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Are my feet made of real feet?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
