my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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