he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
