did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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