I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
