I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize