got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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