shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We have started to decorate penises.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
