if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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