yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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