can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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