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:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Drake has all the answers
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
