i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
