rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
