her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
