Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
