You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm always down for nudity.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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