i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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