i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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