Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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