In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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