we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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