Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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