What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
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I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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