I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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