tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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