What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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