I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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