garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
