kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
