my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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