Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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