hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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