dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
