we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.