I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
