Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
