I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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