I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
