i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
