I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
