Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
