she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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