Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize