Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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