Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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