Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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