i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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