did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
