Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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