I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
