That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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