this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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